Sweets, I hate you

American food manufacturers have spent the last 50 years perfecting delivery systems that lack any nutrition but taste fantastic.  Delivery systems in this context is a generalization of food that falls into the “processed” category.  You know, the high fructose this and the chemically derived isolates that make up almost all the food we eat today.  They’ve even started mucking with our fresh food too:  GMO’s for fruits and vegetables and grain/hormone/antibiotic laden meat.  It’s disgusting that what, if prepared from scratch (like an american classic cheeseburger) meal contains 300-500 calories, is instead topping the scales at 1,300 calories if purchased from McDonalds or Burger King.  I don’t eat that crap anymore.

Here are the things that I think are pure evil and I swear haunt my dreams on a nightly basis.  Be prepared, the food here is delicious and not easy to walk away from.

#3 – Entenmann’s Lemon PieLemonPie

This is a highly processed and manufactured piece of sweet delight.  No one, anywhere, could replicate this pastry if they tried.  This is an old picture, the pie now is exactly what was sold by Hostess (Entenmann’s purchased the rights).  I had one of these today, they were on sale at Wawa.  I’ve been so good lately that I didn’t want to deprive myself as it would have turned ugly.  Someone would have felt the lemon pie starved wrath that is my sweet tooth for sure!

ThinMints#2 – Girl Scout’s Thin Mints

The ONLY Girl Scout cookie that is worth its money in my opinion.  A chocolate covered mint chocolate cookie that is packaged in such a way that an entire sleeve can be consumed without you even realizing it.  I have forbidden these cookies from entering my house for the last two years and have only had a few from people at work when they’re offering me some (so they don’t feel guilty for almost eating a sleeve of course).

ChocBells#1 – Tastykake Chocolate Bells

If Hell had an official food, this would be it.  A creme filled cupcake is awesome enough on its own, but NOOOOO, Tastykake had up the anty, they covered it in chocolate.  OMG, a chocolate covered cupcake!  The guy that developed this idea I’m sure is sitting back in his McMansion thinking about how he got rich by covering a cupcake with chocolate.  The picture doesn’t do it justice.  It’s hydrogenated oil based creme, overly processed chocolate cake (two steps away from not being food honestly), and then covered in what looks like chocolate (I think its liquid drugs disguised as chocolate to be honest).  Yeah, they’re that good.

I’m sure we all have our top three, but these are mine.  I’m “poofy” because of these three evil sweet temptations.  Hopefully, the vegetables that are being consumed when I’m hungry will make a difference.  I will always have a sweet tooth though.

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