Anatomy of a Coffee Addiction

Starbucks

Faces have been changed to protect their true identities.

Coffee addiction is a serious problem.  Hundreds of thousands of people are affected by the compelling need to run over, hurt, and generally cause damage in the pursuit of their first cup of coffee.  I know people that will get a headache if they don’t have a cup by 8am in the morning.  I count myself in that group, however I can push it to 9 or even 10am depending on how my morning is going.

My father on the other hand, is wholly addicted and will NOT function properly if he doesn’t have coffee in his system by 6am every morning, even the weekends.  It’s only mildly insane to me but downright ludicridiculous (ludicrous + ridiculous) to most others.  My mother doesn’t drink coffee, hates the taste, but loves the smell of it brewing.  Not quite sure where that fits into the spectrum.

The wife is definitely addicted to coffee, but not the cheap brew at home kind, oh no.  She is complete batshit crazy for the $5/cup stuff at Starbucks.  I get a stink eye when I get one of those every so often, but its all perfectly fine with her getting 3-5 each week.  Her justification is that her and her friend take turns…..  which if you’re partially logical, is the SAME amount of money she’d spend if paying for only her drinks.  I’m convinced she doesn’t realize I’m hip to her deception, lol.

It would seem to me with the amount of places to get coffee and people willing to drink even the worst tasting coffee just to get their fix is a big problem.  Going back into the past, the craziest thing I’ve heard over and over again is the fact that the Renaissance is attributed in part to the fact that people stopped drinking beer and wine (because the water was literally a cesspool) and started drinking coffee once water became cleaner.  People left their all day long drunken stupor and were polarized to talk about politics, money, oppression among other things all day long.  They would meet in coffee houses (where that little trend started btw) and debate among each other as long as the black gold kept flowing.

My personal endeavor is to try and decrease my intake of coffee to just 1-2 cups (16-20 oz each) per day no matter how bored or tired I am.  Being a stimulant, its pushes up blood pressure and for someone with already high blood pressure, the heart has threatened to go on strike.  The doctor hasn’t been happy the last few times I’ve rolled into the office fresh off a cup of coffee to drink while driving home.  I’m a hairline away from medication, which I don’t want to take.

Coffee is a blessing and curse rolled into one black liquid.  Curse you coffee and you’re smooth nutty undertones and bitter finish!!!